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Christian courting is the answer! That is how you get to know your future spouse and that is how you can find a bride, and that is how it can be done within God’s will.

There is a significant difference between courting and dating, and if you’re a Christian, understanding the concept can either assist you with obtaining a life of inner joy and peace, or finding yourself dealing with guilt and trying to repair the damage done from not taking the time to understand the differences between the two concepts and applying them to your lives.

Psalm 37:4-9 “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. 6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday. 7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. 8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm. 9 For evildoers shall be cut off; But those who wait on the LORD, They shall inherit the earth.”

I DISAGREE WITH THE WAY THE WORLD PROMOTES DATING and this is my number one problem. If you are a person who is unwilling to consider every single angle of this topic, YOU’RE BETTER OFF NOT DATING AT ALL.

Courtship is still practiced in some cultures, but the more developed world has opted for dating as the preferred method of choosing a spouse. The courtship concept is essentially this: With permission of the parents, a young man and woman enter into an exclusive relationship where they see each other under supervision for a specified period of time to see if the two are meant for each other in marriage. Under the courtship concept, no one “dates” anyone without the agreed-upon intent of marriage. The idea that courtship is the Biblical ideal is a bit of a stretch because we really can’t find a whole lot on the topic in God’s Word.

We’re left to find clues from the traditions and customs of the people recorded in the Bible. First of all, marriages were arranged by the families, either by negotiation or strict instruction. The bride and groom could make requests but had no right to decide on their own who they would marry. Neither dating nor courtship are Biblical in that respect. Usually the groom was mature and the bride was around 16, so he could support her while she bore his children. The couple was considered legally married upon engagement. Any sexual relations with another afterward was considered adultery. Furthermore, the families performed the marriage ceremonies, as such, and the religious leaders were merely there as honored guests. The church wedding ceremony, as we practice it today, is not Biblical. In Biblical days, if a couple had sex (with or without a ceremony), they were considered married in the eyes of God and man.

The man should ask for the parents hand in marriage because it is the respectable thing to do. To ask her parents for their blessings and for their blessing to propose to their daughter. It will show respect for her parents, and it will likely make her parents have a very positive (or more positive) view of the groom to be, which will be a very good thing.

So if you find that girl or that guy that you feel the Lord has brought to you, I have a few ideas for keeping out of trouble – First off, COOL IT.

1. Go on group dates with other like minded believers. Don’t spend much time alone. Observe each other interacting with other people. Do others respect your boyfriend or girlfriend?

2. Resolve to make it your motto: “Hands off. Clothes on.” Keep both feet on the floor at all times and do not get horizontal ever when you are alone. I make an exception only when watching a movie in the presence of other Christians, perhaps sitting on a bean bag or snuggled in your own blanket on the floor in front of the TV. No sharing!

3. Don’t ever talk about sexual desires with members of the opposite sex. This topic is not to happen, ever.

4. Do talk about your standards and why you hold to them. Be sincere. You don’t have to have a smart comeback, or a cleaver or snide remark. Just say, :I’m saving sex until marriage.” That is enough, and all that need be said. If your boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you because of your stand, he or she was not worth having.

5. Even if you think this is “the one” (the person you will marry), do not compromise your decision to wait. Be cautious. Some people hint around about marriage to get affection, attention, and sex.

6. Hugging and kissing a lot closes your mind to the danger signals. Keep your head clear enough to end the relationship if you see serious warning signs.

7. Before you start a relationship, make a list of qualities you want in a spouse and stick to them. Do not share your list with your date. They may just live up to them magically, just to get what they want. Then leave you. And I want to clarify, a hug and a short kiss on the cheek good night is acceptable, when at the front door of your parents house, with the door open and so on, but not alone. Heavy Kissing can lead to trouble and lust, which can then lead to temptation.

9. Talk, talk and talk some more about the Lord, family and friends, hobbies, interests, creative pursuits, goals and your dreams. Spend your time getting to know a lot about each other rather than making out. There is a book entitled, “100 things you need to know about the person you are dating.” Get it!

10. Stay away from places where “making out” is encouraged or talked about by others. And again, don’t spend time alone in private, behind closed doors, or with people who only think about sex.

A note for those of you who may have gone too far. I want to encourage you and tell you with 100% certainty, that it is never to late to start over. You cannot get your virginity back, but God can give you a fresh new start, because our God is a God of second chances. God will accomplish this by giving you a clean heart. All you need to do is repent and ask forgiveness. Some people call this new start “second time virginity.” You can treat yourself with respect and expect others to do the same.

Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west,So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

No matter what you’ve done in your life, God loves you and is eager to forgive you. All you have to do is ask.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Nothing is too big for God to forgive. Everyone has sinned, and no one can claim perfection. If God only loved perfect people, then there would be no one to love. If God only used perfect people, there would be no one on earth to carry out His plans.

God called King David, a “man after my own heart,” even though David committed adultery and murder.

God has a plan for your life. Nothing is impossible with God.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Furthermore, you are not disqualified from being used by God. History is full of Christians who have made unwise choices about sex, and then repented. God still has good plans for you if you will follow him. You are not disqualified. God promises to repair your broken heart, to give you a new life, and even to make you better than before. Someday he may use your pain, suffering and confusion to comfort and encourage others.

Isaiah 61:1 “1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted…”

Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise.”

Psalm 71:20 “You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, Shall revive me again, And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”

2 Corinthians 1:3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

I hope this article has been of help to those who are truly seeking God’s best for their lives.

Angelos